Random Blond Moments

A picture of us at our wedding

2006-11-26T03:33:30Z

blondekandi @ 2006-10-29T21:17:00

2006-10-30T05:17:06Z

This is my son Adaam... ain't he cute?

blondekandi @ 2006-07-04T16:26:00

2006-07-04T23:32:58Z

Hello everyone and Happy 4th of July. It's been a little while since I updated... about 2 weeks actually. Ok, so lets see what is new...um, well I hyad to go to the ER again the other day, turns out that the kid tore a ligament in my stomach and that is where the pain that I have been feeling is coming from. The doctor gave me some exercises to do and they seem to help with puting the ligament back where it should be. Ren and I are at his mom's house right now, I guess they are suppoosed to barbeque later or something.... We have been here since about 1:30 and we aren't going to be leaving until about 10 or so. I am so very tired lately. Guess that is the joys of being pregnant. I have to be out of my apartment by Friday... that is when the lease is up. Guess I will be back at mom and dad's house until Ren and I can find a place of our own. Well that is all for now, gonna go look at some apartments online. Talk to everyone later. Much love.

blondekandi @ 2006-06-19T13:16:00

2006-06-19T20:17:53Z

Well, I have good news to share with everyone...at 1 am this morning Ren asked me to marry him. I am so happy. We knew we were going to get married but nothing was official...now it is. WOOHOO!!!!!!!!

blondekandi @ 2006-06-18T20:50:00

2006-06-19T03:53:27Z

i am so bored. the baby has been being a brat, well not so much lately but he had been i was having contractions that were 3 minutes apart so they gave me a shot to stop them. but i am ok now. well i think ren and i are gonna go home now...so ttyl

blondekandi @ 2006-05-23T15:35:00

2006-05-23T22:37:08Z

Well, I guess that Ren and I have decided to change the babies name... it is now going to be Adaam Kieran Castaneda. We thought that if his middle name was Malibu he may be teased alot and we both really like the name Kieran, so yeah...there you have it, my son's official name.

I know what it is....

2006-05-19T18:36:24Z

Well, I am not sure if anyone still reads this or not but if they do, Ren and I found out what we are having... a little BOY!!! I am so excited. I have always wanted a little boy, and now I get him. His name is going to be Adaam Malibu Castaneda. I know, Malibu??? Yes, it is different but I like it, because it is different.Anyway, I just wanted to keep everyone updated on the prgnancy. Oh by the way, the official due date is Friday, October 13th... I am going to have the spawn of Satan himself. Love you all

blondekandi @ 2006-04-04T18:42:00

2006-04-05T01:51:58Z

ok, so Ren and I talked. I guess what had really been bothering me is that anytime something is bothering Ren, he gets all detached from everyone and it makes me think that he is having second thoughts. Well like I said we talked and I guess what was on his mind was something really big, something from the past that he had to deal with, and he reassured me that he has no intentions of going anywhere. He says that he plans on staying around for a long time, and that there is nothing to change his mind. I guess that is all I needed to know, because I am ok now. I guess I was just worried about what I would actually do if he ever left, I don't think I could cope with raising a child on my own. But like I said, I am ok now, in fact Ren should be here anytime now so I am happy. He is going to be here all week so I don't have to stay here by myself.

Mood Swing #1

2006-04-03T11:46:18Z

You ever feel like you are just being led around by a leash? I tend to feel that way alot these days. Everyone keeps telling me that it is my mood swings, but I think it is more than that. One minute I am happy, and the next minute I start thinking about something "someone" said or the way they said it, and boom... no more good mood. In fact the mood turns sour really fast, and it kinda sux. I mean, I don't know who to ask for advice anymore because most people who I could ask,are involved in the problem in some way. I mean they didn't cause it or anything like that, but maybe they know the person or persons that I am having issues with and I don't want to stick them in the middle. It isn't fair to make them take sides, and it isn't fair to ask them to figure out my problems. I just feel so sad and depressed lately. I sit alone and cry alot at night. The other night I went and sat in my bathroom and cried so that Ren wouldn't know. I don't want him to see me cry and even if he did, it wouldn't solve any problems just create more, so I am trying to avoid that. I should be over joyed right now, being pregnant and all, and at first I was, but I just can't seem to be happy anymore. Don't get me wrong, none of my problems have anything to do with the baby. I am still very much excited about being a mom, but there are alot of other things that the sadness and depression from, just out weighs that happiness. I am so lost and confused and I don't know what to do. I just want to run away and hide from everything but then when I am alone it feels even worse, so what am I supposed to do? I mean, do I sit back and hope that it is my imagination ( i don't think it is though) or do I speak up and say something, possibly making an ass out of myself, or do i sit back and watch the whole thing blow up in my face all the while that leash i am being led around on is getting tighter and tighter, and longer and farther away from the owner? I have a theory that I can test and that will help prove part of my point, or disprove it...I hope it disproves it, but what happens if it proves me right? I honestly am not mentally capable of handling the responsibility that it would mean at this point in time. Because I think sometimes people say and do things out of a sense of obligation to one another, and if that is true, then the only fair thing to do is release said person from his or her "obligations" to you. And if that is the case then that means that my life is going change very much in a very short time, and that even though I think I am grown up now, I am going to grow up about 20 years, in a matter of minutes with one decision and one comment to another person, and its hard to do. And being so depressed I don't really think that I can. I had a dream last night that Ren said he loved me, which is very strange all on its own because we both know he doesn't and we both know I don't love him... but in my dream he said this and I was dumb founded...didn't know what to say to it, kinda like I wouldn't if he really did say it. So anyway, there I was, standing in awe, and complete shock... only to find out, his mom and him had decided to do that as a ploy to get me all out of wack and confused so they could take my baby away from me. I know that will never happen but it really worried me. What if Ren really does try to take our baby away from me. What if he decides that he is tired of hanging around me and just takes the baby and goes....then I really will have nothing in my life...no guy, which I don't have now, and I am ok with that... and no child...I wouldn't be ok with that... see, depression is setting in...this is not just a mood swing, there are some serious underlying emotions that need to be dealt with here....just not sure how to do that...anyone with ideas or who thinks they can help, feel free to respond to this...

blondekandi @ 2006-04-02T00:42:00

2006-04-02T08:51:19Z

Ok, so it's been a while since I posted... Well the pregnancy is going... I am now 3 months along, and the baby is due around Oct. 13th... I was in the hospital about 2 weeks ago because the morning sickness was so bad that I dropped 13 pounds in about 4 days. I had gained 1/2 a pound back but now I have the flu and they said I dropped another 4 pounds. They say it is ok. Ren came over last night to take care of me and when he left today he told me if I need anything to call him, even if I want ice cream in the middle of the night. He said he would drive over here and bring it to me. I think one of these nights I will have to call him up and tell him I want something just to see if he would really bring it over or not. You know it would be so much easier for him to pamper me if he would just move in but when I go back to my mom's in July, then he would just end up back at his mom's because I can already see that my parents are not going to let him come over all the time like he does here. God I am going to hate not having my own place, but that is an entirely different story. Lets just say that my roommates mom is well, I won't say what I think right now. Bad mood plus people butting in, plus mood swings equals saying something you probably shouldn't say, even if you really really want to. Know what I mean. Someone was being really stupid on Myspace the other day and leaving dumb messages, and wouldn't leave their name. Sounds to me like a chicken shit person doesn't it. Oh well..no skin off my back. Just would like to know who was leaving them cause even though they were saying stupid shit, I want to thank them for thinking of me...lol...besides nothing would erk them more than being nice when they are trying so hard to offend me. Kill them with kindness. :) Ok, well it's late and I am really tired. I think I am gonna go to bed. Hopefully I want have the urge to toss my brownies tonight. Yuck. Wish me luck. G'night everyone.

Hell has frozen over

2006-02-26T19:25:13Z

Ok, so I woke up at 7 this morning throwing up, and mind you I went to bed at 3 so I was a little pissed off. Well I decided to go to the doctor and find out if whatever I had in July was back. Nope it isn't. Turns out that I am pregnant. You heard right folks. Kristian is gonna have a baby. A fragile little mind for me to warp. Woo Hoo!!!! I am so excited and so happy. This is what I have wanted for so very long. I will keep everyone posted on the lovely events of my pregnancy. ~Kisses~

blondekandi @ 2006-02-24T13:43:00

2006-02-24T21:51:08Z

Ok, so today marks the 5th day that I have been throwing up. It really sux. I thought maybe it was the flu but all i am doing is throwing up. No body aches, or fever or anything like that. Just an upset tummy. Grrrr....

I think if i am still throwing up tomorrow i will go to the doctor. God I hope this isn't the same thing i had in july. That shit sucked. Being in the hospital for 2 weeks... ahhh...

On a side note, I am going to see AEROSMITH tonight... WOOHOO... My fave band ever... WOOHOO!!! Can you tell I am excited. And I don't care how sick I am, I will not miss this concert. God himself couldn't stop me from seeing them.

So, HAHAHAHA Tam...I'll take pics and show you when I get home. Hope everything went ok at the hospital.

blondekandi @ 2006-02-09T00:55:00

2006-02-09T08:57:50Z

Ok, so I found out last night that my brother and his gf (the whore daughter of psycho bitch) are expecting theri second child in June. Now for those of you who know my brother, his daughter will be a year old on May 30th. He isn't even 21 yet and expecting his second child. What is the world coming to....ahhhhh...

okay, just had to ven...bye bye

Its over

2006-02-08T09:54:34Z

Well, it is official, everything between Merrick and I is over. He has a girlfriend now. And before anyone says anything, I am actually happy. It gives me a chance to move on. I need that, so very badly too. I love him, and yes it hurts but it's ok. I have met a great guy, thanx in all to Tamara, and just so everyone knows, no we are not together, no it hasn't even crossed our minds, but he is still a great guy and makes me feel good about myself and so I will be just fine as far as Merrick goes. If he really loves me like he says he does then one day we will be together and if not, well we had fun. I have pictures to prove it. (not like that you perves) we were happy...and we are still friends. So yes, I am off to drink my vodka now...loves to everyone. Oh yeah, how about that new hair color of mine? lol

blondekandi @ 2006-01-23T00:02:00

2006-01-23T08:04:08Z

just saying hello and letting everyone know that things are going good... i hate getting online and never having anyone to talk to so yeah, TALK TO ME PEOPLE! lol...bye bye

blondekandi @ 2006-01-14T02:04:00

2006-01-14T10:04:39Z

The Great 500

001. What is your name: Kristian
002. Spell your name backwards: naitsirK
003. Date of birth: Nov. 5th
004. Male or female: Female
005. Astrological sign: Scorpio
006. Nicknames: Kandi, Kris, Missy May
007. Occupation: Rite Aid Slave
009. Do u like it?: Sometimes
010. Hair color: Not sure what the natural color is...some sort of blond
011. Eye color: Blue?grey
013. Where do you reside: San bernardino
014. Height: 5'6"
015. Screen name: blondekandi
016. E-mail addy: xxblondxxkandixx@aol, blondekandi@yahoo, blondekandi@hotmail
017. What does your email addy stand for: i think that's self explanatory.
018. What is your Xanga/LJ name: blondekandi
019. What does your Xanga/LJ name stand for: see 017.
020. Pets:Cat- Nova, Rat- Peter
021. Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake: 23
022. Piercings: 4...
023. Tattoos: 5...3 on the back, and one on each hip
024. Shoe size: varies
025. Righty or lefty: Righty.
026. Wearing:scrub pants, and tank top that says high maintenance
027. Hearing: the hum of my computer
028. Feeling: bored
029. Eating/drinking: nothing at the moment ...

Girls/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff..

061. Have you ever been in love: yes
062. How many people and who have you said I love you to: A few
063. How many people have you been in love with: 1
064. How many people have you kissed: Hell I can't count that high
065. Have you ever kissed someone of the same gender:hell yeah
066. How many people and who have you dated: I can't even begin to count that high
067. What do you look for in a guy/girl: Personality, looks too but not a absolute must
069. Who was the last guy/girl you danced with: my ex...a week ago
073. Do you have a crush right now: several
074. If so who is it: not gonna tell you
075. Do you believe in love at first sight: yes
076. Do you remember your first love: yep...sure do
077. Who is the first person you kissed? Johnny Burnette just before 10th grade
078. Do you believe in fate: Sure do
079. Do you believe in soul mates: Yes i do
080. If so do you believe you'll ever find yours: I already have

Family Stuff...

104. How many siblings do you have: 1
105. What are your parents names: Tracy and Sara
106. Do you wish they were divorced?: no
107. How many siblings does your mother have: 12
108. How many siblings does your father have?: 1
109. Where are your parents from: dad- Rialto, Mom- England
110. Is your family close: Used to be
111. Does your family get together for holidays: My parents and I dp
112. Do you have a drunk uncle: Probably...i know I have a drunk aunt
113. Any medical problems run through your family: Don't make me list them
114. Does someone in your family wear a toupee: Maybe
115. Do you have any nieces or nephews: yes
116. Are your parents divorced: nope
117. Do you like that they are?: see 116
118. Has your family ever disowned another member of your family: yes
119: Why if so: they have issuses
120. Did some of your family come to America from another country: yes, my grandfater was from mexico, and again...mom is from England

Music Stuff...

121. What song do you swear was written about you or your life:Desperado
122. What's the most embarrasing cd you own: I am proud of all my cd's
123. What's the best cd you own: No idea
124. What song do you absolutely love right now: Smart in a Stupid Way
125. Do you sing in the shower: Usually
126. What song reminds you of that someone: Smart in a stupid way, that's why i love you, epiphany

Favorites...

152. Color: Blue/ Pink
153. Food: Italian
154. Song: Too many
155. Show: Lost, Charmed
156. School subject: Math
157. Band/singer/artist: Areosmith, Eagles
159. Outfit: Jeans, and a tank top, and my boots
160. Radio station: KFrog
161. Movie: Alice In wonderland
162. Pair of shoes: My black knee high boots
163. Cartoon: Don't watch cartoons much, but Sponge Bob
164. Actor: Robin Williams
165. Actress: Julia Roberts
166. Potato chip: Sour Cream and Chedder
167. Drink: Apple Juice
168. Soda: Mr. Pibb, pepsi
169. Holiday: Halloween
170. Perfume/cologne: Pleasures for men
171. Pizza topping: Mushrooms and pineapple
172. Jello flavor: YUCK!!!!
173. Lunch meat: Salami
174. Card Game: Canasta
175. Video game: Sims, harvest moon
176. Website: MySpace
177. Book: Anything Piers Anthony, or Stephan King
178. Computer game: Sims 2, or diablo
179. Number: 19
180. Cereal: The cat food one...jana knows what it is...or grape nuts
181. Comedian: not big on comedy, but i would have to say any of the swingin johnson brothers...lol... how about you linda?
182. Dessert: dunno
183. Disney character: The Cheshire Cat
184. Clothing store: Hot Topic, wal-mart
185. Past time: Sex...j/k... drawing
186. Teacher: Ms. Denny
187. Childhood toy: Thai
188. Carnival game/ride: The UFO
189. Candy bar: Snickers, or twix
190. Magazine: US Weekly or star
191. Salad dressing: Italian
192. Thing to do on the weekend: Sleep
193. Hot Drink: Sleepy time tea
194. Season: Fall
195. Sport to watch: Football
196. Person to talk to online: It was Merrick, but um, he isn't online anymore...now i need someone new to talk to

Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits-

197. What color are your sheets: red
198. What color are your bedroom walls: white
199. Do you have posters on your wall: nope
200. If so of what: n/a
201. Do you have a tv in your bedroom: yep
202. How many pillows are on your bed: 3...2 regular, and one body pillow
203. What do you normally sleep in: pj's
204. Describe your favorite pair of pajamas: any
205. What size bed do you have: twin...i think...could be a large twin
206. Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed: Day bed
207. Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom: no
209. Describe the last nightmare you had: There was a horrible storm and my ex and i were caught in it... and we found out that the people we were with had killed a little girl and duped her body and they were coming after us next...all we were trying to do was take a shower...lol
210. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: sometimes...lately, i sleep with alfred my stuffed skunk
211. How many people can sleep comfortably in your bed:Merrick and I slept in it comfortably on tuesday
212. Do you sleep in any unusual positions: not that i know of
213. Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling: no
214. Do you snore: yes
215. How about drool: sometimes...when i sleep deep
216. Do you have an alarm clock in your room: yes
217. What color is the carpet in your room: white
218. What's under your bed: the floor

This or that:

219. loser/wannabe: either
220. Doughnuts/bagels:bagels
221. Day/night: Night
222. Wicked witch of the east/wicked witch of the west: Either
223. Heaven/hell: Hell
224. Make love/have sex: can't i do both?
225. Coffee/tea: Coffee
226. Hamburgers/hotdogs:Hot dogs
227. Rap/rock: ROCK!!!
228. Britney/Christina: Britney
229. Swiss cheese/american cheese: depends on the meat
230. Real World/Road Rules: niether
231. Backstreet Boys: sometimes
336. Got perfect attendance in grade school: Yes
337. Roasted pumpkin seeds: Yes
338. Taken ballet lessons: no... :(
339. Attempted suicide : nope
340. Cut yourself: yes

Would you?

341. Moon Someone: nope
342. Go on a Diet: Of course
343. Travel to a foreign country: Yes
344. Break a bone: i have...on accident
345. Spread a Rumor: maybe.. depends on who
346. Swear at a Teacher/Professor: I have
347. Meet someone you met online: Yes
348. Get into a fight: Yes
349. Date a teacher/Professor: maybe... if they're hot and young enough
350. Lie to get your way: depends
351. Go Skinny Dipping: i have...with josh
352. Tell a secret you swore to keep: i try not too
353. Steal something: not anymore
354. Dance in a Mosh Pit: nope
355. Go to a concert: I am in february
356. Date one of your best friends: Yes
357. Deceive someone you are friends with: No
358. Break the Law: Depends on the law
359. Go to a Rodeo: yes
360. Fly on an Airplane: yes
361. Ride on a firetruck: Yes
362. Cheat on a bf/gf: No Way!
363. Give a random person a piggy back ride: probably not
364. Kiss your Babysitter: I don't need a baby sitter
365. Sneak out of the house: what for?
366. Get Drunk: hell yes
367. Smoke: nope
368. Do Drugs: depends....prescriptions?
369. Break the Law: we asked this on 358
370. Go Camping: Yes
371. Gamble: maybe
372. Write a Love letter: Yes
373. Lie to the one you loved: only if there's a good reason
374. Write a Love Poem: yes
375. Kiss in the Rain: YES
376. Dance in the Rain: YES
377. Ask a friend for relationship advice: YES
378. Participate in cyber sex: No
379. Steal a friends signifiacnt other: Not on purpose
380. Watched the sunset/sunrise with your significant other: Of course
381. Throw up in Public: try not to
382. Go Bowling: maybe
383. Go skydiving: hell no
384. Injure yourself on purpose: nope
385. Take Dancing Lessons: yes
386. Eat Sushi: hell no
387. Eat live worms: hell no
388. Kiss a stranger: i have before
389. Marry someone you dont love: maybe
390. Travel half way around the world for love: if he asked me to
391. Stay up all night just for fun: I do it all the time
392. Have a one night stand: depends
393. Ditch work: Yes
394. Ditch school: Yes
395. Go swimming in a Strangers pool: I don't know
396. Go Streaking: nope
397. Just start driving somewhere without know where you were going: sure would
398. Marry someone you didnt love for financial gain: thought about it
399. Call a friend at 4am to talk to: if i know they are up
400. Fake an orgasam: nope...i'm too honest...i would hurt someones feelings first

Childhood Stuff...

401. Did you play with Barbies: still do
402. Did you own Treasure Trolls: no
403. Did you watch Barney: No
404. Did you play Simon Says: YES
405. Did you watch Fraggle Rock: hell yeah
406. Did you wet the bed: not after i was potty trained
407. Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed:Not monsters but i am still afraid of something under the bed
408. Did you wear the underwear with the days of the week on them: i'm sure i did
409. Were you shy: Oh yes
410. Were you spoiled: yep
411. Were you abused: nope
412. Did you go to the circus: grandma took me and my brother all the time
413. Did you go to the zoo: yep
414. Were you in a car: Umm... who wasn't?
415. Did you build snowmen: yeah...built one a few years ago as a matter of fact
416. Did you cry when you scraped your knee: Yes
417. Were your older cousins mean to you: still are
418. Did you think slinkies were cool: Sure!
419. Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer: didn't care
420. Were you afraid of the dark: still kinda am...
421. Did you have slumber parties: no
422. Did you have New Kids On The Block sheets: nope
423. Did you tease your hair out like Tiffany: no
424. Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy: yes...i did

Randomness...

425. Do you believe in aliens: nope
426. Name three things that are next to your computer: The phone, a table, a camera
427. Do you have any hidden talents? that you'll have to be there for
428. Do you wish MTV would play music videos: yes
429. If you were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be: a musical
430. What would your movie star name be: whatever, i don't judge
431. Do you play any sports: soccer, water polo, swimming...well i did those..not now
432. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen: nothing yet
433. What is the best movie you've seen in the theater or rented recently: i only go to the or watch the ones i like, so i don't know
434. What is the dumbest movie you've ever seen: fear dot com
435. Do you drive: yep
436. What is your dream car: a 67 ford mustange convertable, cherry red with white intrior, and a black rag top, or a ford f250 super duty extended cab- silver with pink interior and a dash that says barbie
437. Do you think your good looking: some days...but most no
438. Do others think you are good looking: don't know...if they do its not the ones that i want to
439. Do you believe there is such a thing as a soul mate:yes
440. Do you believe in Bigfoot: no
441. How many rooms do you have in your house: 2 bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen, 2 bathrooms
442. Are you afraid of roller coasters: yes
443. Do you believe in God: No
444. Do you believe in Satan: yes
445. Do you believe there is a heaven: no
446. Do you believe there is a hell: no
447. Do you own a pooltable: not anymore
448. Do you have a pool: 2 in the apratment complex...not my own though
449. Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen: yes
450. Do you like chocolate: hate it

451. Who is on your calendar: Orlando Bloom is on both of my calanders
452. How many poster do you own: none
453. Ever wished on a star:always
454. Best Halloween costume you ever wore: no idea

455. Do you carry any weapons on you: nope
456. What is your weakness: eyes and lips
457. Name something you can't get enough of: kisses
458. Describe yourself in 3 adjectives: idunno you tell me
459. How many kids do you want to have: whatever i get
460. Future daughters names: brooke, chastity
461. Future sons names: adaam, rory, seth
463. How do you release stress: listen to music or hit something
464. Do you consider yourself a trendy person: maybe
465. Are you an artisitic person: yes
466. Are you a realistic person: yes
467. Do you un-tie your shoes every time you take them off: no
468. Are you a strong person: depends, what for?
469. Are you a strong willed person: yes
470. Who is the last person to e-mail you: bill
471. Who is the last person to IM you: tim

472. Do you chain e-mails: yes
473. Are you a deep sleeper: yes
474. Are you a good story teller: yes
475. What do you believe is your best quality: good listener
476. What is your greatest accomplishment: not being just another statistic

477. Do you like to burn candles or incense: Candles
478. Do you do yoga: yes i do
479. Do you have your own credit card: yep...2

480. Let's say you win the lotto: ok...i win the lotto...haha...i said it
481. Do you have a check book: yep
482. Do you like your drivers licence:i look like i weigh 200+ lbs.
483. Do you tan easily: not anymore
484. What color is your hair naturally: not sure...some color blond
485. How many fillings do you have: 3 or so...maybe less
486. How many cavities did you have at your last dentist visit:2
487. Worst feeling in the world: Loneliness
488. Best feeling in the world: Being in love
489. Is the glass half empty or half full: empty
490. Last thing you downloaded: a song by jason aldean
491. Do you catch yourself using online terms in your real life? No
492. What do you think people think of you: I don't want to know
493. Are you a likeable person: you tell me
494. Do you need therapy: yes...
496. What the best way to propose: unexspected
497. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge would they call it FED UP: That joke is so dumb
499. When are you moving: i just moved so no time soon

500. What's your favorite phrase: um, ok...or holy jesus shit

Repost this and let all your friends or fellow people know about you.

blondekandi @ 2006-01-04T02:12:00

2006-01-04T10:19:56Z

This update is mainly for Damia... Ok, so the lunch date never happened, I had to cancel it so I could take care of some car issues and computer stuff... but we hung out later, it went really good. As for the thing with Merrick, well we talked tonight and things are ok with us...not great but ok... He is gonna help me move on Saturday, I can't wait until I get into my new apartment. Merrick and I have lots of issues to work out but hopefully things will be back to normal...whatever that is... between us. Well it is really cold and I need to pack so I guess I had better get going to bed and get warm...Damia I miss you... now I have to take people out that aren't cheap dates...lol.. what am i going to do now... haha okay until next time...

blondekandi @ 2005-12-27T02:03:00

2005-12-27T10:11:52Z

just letting everyone know that i am still alive... had a great christmas... hope everyone else did to. have had an interesting week as well...i will find out by the 3rd of jan. if we got our apartment or not... had an old friend find me on myspace...its been good talking to him...found an old bf online...we have a dinner date on wed. it should be interesting... its been a long time since i have seen him...like 5 years or more. i'll update and let everyone know how it goes. other than that...not much else to talk about... i laid into merrick last tuesday...it was not good...he laid into me too though...things are ok now though. well all is good...talk to ever one after wed.

much love

blondekandi @ 2005-12-15T13:57:00

2005-12-15T22:07:27Z

You scored as Ron Weasley. You often feel like second best and as a result don't have an awful lot of self confidence, but a truer more capable friend would be hard to find.

</td>

Ron Weasley

85%

Albus Dumbledore

75%

Harry Potter

70%

Remus Lupin

70%

Ginny Weasley

70%

Lord Voldemort

65%

Draco Malfoy

60%

Sirius Black

55%

Hermione Granger

50%

Severus Snape

45%

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with QuizFarm.com

A Repost

2005-11-24T22:34:58Z

January 7th, 2004
01:55 pm: Why oh why do I even try???
Okay so I decide that I want to look for a possible boyfriend, and when I find one who just might meet all requirements, my friends hate him... they all like only one guy unfortunatly, I don't see a relationship ever evolving there so yeah... Why do I even try? I can't date someone that my friends hate but, why wouldn't they want me to be happy? Ah, oh well... just a little self depression going on today. I'll get on with my life, later that is.

Current Mood: crushed

Well just thought i would repost this...it was kinda funny actually...this very same guy is all that has been on my mind lately. And you know hat, my friend's like him...well the friends I have now. Ok, the bad thing is, he says he does't want a girlfriend...I don't know if he was serious or just saying that to get someone off his back but who knows, guess i will have to ask him on tuesday. Hmm...maybe he will actually be able to go home with me, you know, if his car doesn't get stolen again, and he doesn't have to drive drunk people home... ::Crosses fingers::

blondekandi @ 2005-11-19T20:32:00

2005-11-20T04:33:50Z

So yeah... just an update on my life...I moved out of my mom's house a week ago...its great. I just got a new car cause my other one died on me... that sucked. I ran into a guy I like on thursday, haven't seen him in like 2 years... its kinda kewl that he is back in town and so very close to my new house... i like that a lot... Merrick and I, well we are just there...he won't make up his mind on anything but what is new right? Oh I saw Walk The Line last night, awesome movie...ok, well I'm off to L.A. to go see the King Tut exhibit...g'night everyone

blondekandi @ 2005-11-19T20:05:00

2005-11-20T04:30:48Z

The Achluomancer

What type of magic do you wield? (8 results + pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

JOCK: According to my lovely quiz you're a
jock. Fit and healthy you delight in kicking
everyone else's ass when it comes to any sort
of sport whatsoever whether it be soccer or
pickleball. Heh. Stereotypically you are
arrogant, a bully, and possess an amazingly low
I.Q.

The Ultimate Stereotype Personality Quiz (with pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

BUTTERFLY EYES

You have Butterfly
Eyes!
Positive Traits: Thoughtful,
Intelligent, Humble, Clever, Open
Minded
Negative Traits: Elitist,
Conceited, Apathetic, Cold, Sarcastic

Your eyes are the windows to your soul. What type of eyes do you have?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your Heart Is Purple

For you, love is about establishing and developing a deep connection.
If it's true love, it brings you more wisdom and inner strength.

Your flirting style: Sincere

Your lucky first date: An afternoon at a tea house

Your dream lover: Is both thoughtful and expressive

What you bring to relationships: Understanding

What Color Heart Do You Have?

blondekandi @ 2005-10-03T15:13:00

2005-10-03T22:20:02Z

Just felt like writing... I'm very upset, actually on the verge of tears if you need to know. Last week Merricks mom said something about me that really hurt my feelings and on top of it Merrick hasn't been able to talk to anyone...me or his friends at school. No one is really sure why his mom tripped but she did, and it sux. She doesn't even know me to say what she said, and her son is an adult, if he likes someone or wants to hang out with someone she really has no say so in it. What do you do when you love someone and your not allowed to...not like romeo and juliet not allowed to but just not allowed to because you don't want to cause problems for them. Its not like you can just turn those emotions off... I mean when you want to you can act like you don't care but then when your alone the feelings kinda take over and you end up sitting at home writing in an online journal about how upset you are, and its not like that makes you feel better, only worse. Have I said lately that I hate my life? Cause I really do. Oh, before I forget, I went to see that movie, "Just Like Heaven", yesterday, oh my god, the bookstore guy is way hott... guess who it is, ok, its the guy who played Napoleon Dynamite... can we say what the fuck... ok, well i guess thats all for now...

blondekandi @ 2005-09-22T22:51:00

2005-09-23T05:59:33Z

You were killed during a mission or while trying to
protect someone and you died with honor. you
never regretted what you did and you are a very
brave and strong individual. You know what is
right and you are willing to stand up for it.
Even if it means death.

How did you die in your past life? (for everyone)
brought to you by Quizilla

A little insight into a complicated situation

2005-09-16T07:36:50Z

Ok, so for those of you who actually read this your probably scratching your brain wondering what my last post was all about... well good cause so am I. I have been thinking (alot...and yes my brain hurts, as a matter of fact I told Mikey that my brain has turned into soup and slid out my ear at Denny's last week), and what I have come up with is this... In regards to the afore mentioned... I have no idea how I feel about him. Even if I did know how I felt about him, I wouldn't want to fess up to it either way it worked out... If I loved him, I wouldn't want to admit it because that would mean he could hurt me. And if I don't love him, well that mens that I would still need to find someone to love, and I just don't wanna have to do that. But here is the thing...even though I have coome to the realization that I don't know how I feel about him and am content with that...I am most certainly not content with not knowing how he feels... I mean... I do know, but I don't...you know what I mean. Like my friends say I love you, and I'm ok witht hat...he says I love you, and it worries me... not sure why...its not like he's saying I want to spend my life with you or anything...its no different than one of my friends sayng it but it seriously worries me when he says it... Another thing about him is what he said about his theory about me. Lets see, can I explain with out going into too much detail... Lets just say that his theory is not too short off from something I said in here, that he said he didn't say...confused yet...good. If your confused you can ask me...everyone knows how to get ahold of me...